Navigating Toxic Relationships: When You Can’t Just "Cut Them Out"
The Reality of "Cutting Ties"
We’ve all heard the advice: if someone is toxic to your peace, growth, or well-being, eliminate them. While this is often necessary for our own safety, I find myself thinking about the aftermath. What happens to that person when everyone has cut them out? Do they grow, or do they simply become more bitter?
Ultimately, we are responsible for the happiness in our own lives. If you need to walk away from someone to survive, you must do what is best for you. But what do we do when that person cannot be cut out?
Setting Limits, Not Just Ultimatums
When a toxic person remains in your life—whether due to family ties, work, or shared community—the answer lies in boundaries. We must focus on what we can change, rather than waiting for them to become a healthier version of themselves.
Here are the practical "shields" you can use:
Information Diet: You choose what to share. You are not obligated to give someone access to your inner world if they don't treat it with respect.
Conversation Redirection: Practice phrases like, "I’d rather not talk about that," or "That sounds like a great topic to discuss with so-and-so."
Third-Party Boundaries: Ask mutual friends or family members to no longer discuss that person’s drama or actions with you.
The Visualization Shield: Before an interaction, imagine a protective shield around you. Their negative energy can hit the shield, but it cannot enter your space.
Acceptance vs. Approval
A major component of maintaining these relationships is acceptance. This doesn't mean you approve of their behavior; it means you stop expecting them to be someone they aren't.
Approach them with "guarded empathy." See them as a human who is still learning, or perhaps one who is in deep denial of their effects on others. They may never change, but by coming to terms with who they are, you stop being disappointed by their toxicity.
Protecting Your Peace
Whether you are using learning to navigate difficult family dynamics processing the past hurts these individuals have caused, the goal is the same: your happiness, well-being, and peace are worth the effort of protection.
About the Author
Sarah Lacy, LPCC is an EMDR Specialist and Life Coach based in Rocky River, Ohio. She provides in-person support to the Lakewood, Westlake, and Bay Village communities, as well as Telehealth sessions throughout the state.
If these words resonate with you, reach out to take the next step in your healing journey.
